November 14, 2017
Rand Paul was not doing well upon his return to Capital Hill.
Based on this picture:
It appears that he shat his pants while walking in the door.
This comes after his neighbor, in his words, “herped me right in my derp.”
Sen. Rand Paul returned to Capitol Hill Monday for the first time after he was brutally attacked at his Kentucky home less than two weeks ago.
Paul entered the Senate chamber to cast a vote. He spoke with other senators, including Democratic Sen. Brian Schatz of Hawaii.
Paul was attacked while mowing his lawn on Nov. 3, according to authorities. The neighbor — Rene Boucher — attacked Paul from behind after he had gotten off of his lawn mower.
Paul’s friend, Robert Porter, said that Paul was wearing protection over his ears and didn’t hear Boucher coming.
An X-ray exam showed the Kentucky senator suffered six broken ribs and a build up of excess fluid in his lungs.
Boucher’s attorney insisted the attack had “nothing to do” with politics, but rather was due to a “landscaping dispute.”
We still haven’t gotten much about the motive.
People jumped on it thinking it was political, and I was like “I don’t think this is political.”
Then I was like “maybe it is political.”
But now that they’re saying it’s landscaping, and I guess that is believable. I can imagine Rand Paul being annoying with regards to landscaping.
The interesting thing here is that you can break a sitting Senator’s ribs and get out on $5000 bail while Christopher Cantwell rots in a cell denied bail for allegedly spraying mace in the air when he was defending himself from an attacker.